Two minute noodles...

Coz your Hot n your cold, your yes and your no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down...”

My ringtone eco’s across the living room.

“Yellow!!!” I answer all cheery.

“Um, Hi.” the voice on the other side sounds young and determined. “Could I possibly steal a moment of your time?”

UUUUURG, I’m thinking, not another insurance company person, trying to sell me life insurance or some sort of policy for some sort of benefit of some sort...damn! But, me being weak when it comes to saying no to people replies (with much less cheeriness):

“Sure thing, shoot...” And that’s exactly what she does...

She’s a young girl, recently finished school, not selling insurance (or, well, I don’t think it’s her intention to try to sell insurance...)

“My name is Mari,” she says the name of some local Ministry (I’m leaving out the name coz I really don’t wanna get sued) and then she shoots.

“I’m calling you today to hear if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ?”

Holy piñata, thinks I, but I try to sound normal...

“ummm,” I make an outstretched thinking noise, coz I’m dumb strucked. Didn’t know this kind of thing actually happened in real life, I thought it was just some kind of holywood rumour or something...

Now, the girl really gets exited coz I didn’t hang up the phone...

“blah blah blah...all people are born in sin blah blah blah...can only be saved through accepting Jesus...yada yada yada if not...yada yada...burn in eternal hell...”

“Hell, that’s hectic.” I say, more because of what she’s doing then because of what she’s saying...

She takes it as the cue to proceed to the next step (after mentioning the burning flames of hell a couple of more times)

“Would you like to get saved? Would you like me to pray the sinner’s prayer with you?”

“Damn...” I say, still pretty shocked.

WHAAM-BAM-THANK-YOU-MAM

I really hate the term “EVANGELISM” and his little friends “evangelise” and “evangelist.”

It sounds like some kind of instant-microwave-machine...

“Okay Benny, get into the “evangeliser” watch out for that first step, it’s a doozy...”

The person pops out on the other end, all shiny and ready to go spread the word...

Like a freaking car wash...

“Thank you, drive safely and please call again.” YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!

And again our aim is off, instead of hitting our target we hit something rare flying by (killing it)

APPLAUSE

The term “evangelism” comes from the Greek "euaggelidzo" meaning:

“I bring good news.”

GOOD NEWS. GOOD NEWS. GOOD NEWS.

So how GOOD is the NEWS, when we phone up or walk up to some stranger (a person we do not know anything about) and say: "repent O thee sinner, or thee shall be smiteth with thine fires of hell."

GOOD NEWS????????????????????????????

DAMN!!!

I recently read a book titled “They like Jesus but not the church” written by a really cool pastor guy Dan Kimball...eye opener.

In the book somewhere, he tells of an experience he had one day waiting at the airport. So this dude walks by wearing a t-shirt saying "Jesus is the way, the Truth and the Light" on the front. Cool, I can live with that. But then this dude turns around and what he proclaims on the back of this shirt will scare Billy Graham into Buddhism (okay, not really, I'm being dramatic...but wait for it)

“Islam is a lie!” “Homosexuality is a sin!” “Abortion is murder!”

Dan walks up to the dude and asks him to tell him more about the info he is throwing in other people’s faces...Dan asks him if he doesn’t think he is offending alot of people...the boy replies “It is each and every Christians job to spread the message...to evangelise the nations.”

WHAT MESSAGE ARE WE SENDING BY DOING STUFF LIKE THIS??????

GOOD NEWS??? HATE??? HELL???

HELL!!!

JESUS LOVES YOU (BUT...)
thats not THE WAY thats a NO WAY!!!!

Back to Mari and her sinners prayer (another concept I’m still not so sure about, but that’s another story.)

In Mathew 28:19 Jesus tells his disciples to go into the nations and make more disciples and teach them...

Disciple: Somebody who believes in and follows the teachings of a leader...in other words a student, a scholar, a learner, a devotee...

To make a disciple, to teach somebody doesn’t mean you walk up to some random person and stuff it down his or her throat...

How are you being a teacher?

How is that person being a student?

(If he or she is offended by what you’re throwing in their faces)

Where is the relationship?

Jesus discipled through relationship!!! He didn’t hand out flyers or wore a stupid t-shirt or phoned people up...randomly,

We as the church, we as Christians should really stop puking our christianese on random passerby’s and walk away and think it’s okay...IT IS NOT OKAY!!

The term “Evangelism” (and what we think it means) doesn’t appear in the Bible once.

NOT ONCE!

Ministry is born out of intimacy...

Relationship with the Holy Spirit...

Relationship with other people...

No judgement, or superiority, or manipulation, or threats with hell...

LOVE, TIME, FRIENDSHIP, KINDNESS, UNDERSTANDING

There is no such thing as an instant Christian...

People are not 2 minute noodles...

(yuck)